You’re real two-faced, but I’m winning

This one goes out to those two

Faces of the past and the future

Inconceivably sutured together.

We go way back, you and I

Look in the mirror and see the frowns curl your face

The wrinkles frame your eyes

Like bangs hit you square and fair.

Skip from one to the other in a heartbeat

In your second chamber, your court of order and harmony.

When I’m up, you’re down

To say you know my mind

Except in the corners of the dark

Preaching your four point plan on why I’m falling

Down. Doomsday awaits.

Oh iron out your creases and stop laughing.

Your game face is red hot plastic melting into a sad, stained smile.

Did it matter when I stood there, told I’d fall flat

and then earned more respect than you’ve ever known?

Did it hurt when I stood strong

In the face of torment

Whilst you pined for me to notice you?

Well, I noted your existence, and I am moving on.

This is an ode to the weak-willed,

The small-hearted,

The insular navel-gazers.

Steel skin reflecting right back at you.  Say hi to your other half.

That’s it, folks; game over.

I just keep winning.




Why White Must Never Be The New Black

Flickr: Tom Benson, Creative Commons

Forget cultural appropriation, forget whitewashing, and forget colonialism. Whether or not you believe that these terms are still relevant today (and I believe they are), you can’t argue that race politics is a thing of the past.

I mean, take a look at the situation with Zoe Saldana and the row over her playing Nina Simone in a biopic. It’s almost as though Hollywood, scared by the fact that Chris Rock is so funny that he goes over their heads, have decided to pitch a black actress who they are pretty sure wouldn’t have a hard time scraping an Oscar. All they need to do is black her up a bit, add a flat prosthetic nose, and she’s on her way to golden glory. It’s unfair, both for black actors and Nina Simone.

Was it really so hard to cast formidable actresses like Viola Davis? Saldana has said that playing Simone means a lot to her. That’s nice. I’m sure it means a lot to the darker actors who end up playing slaves or murderers. They probably agree that an iconic black woman, like Nina Simone, means a lot to them too. The fact that Saldana’s politics haven’t always matched Simone’s is irrelevant. Okay, so Saldana doesn’t see colour (maybe that’s why she got cast), and colour is kind of, you know, integral to Simone’s recognition, but at least Hollywood didn’t go one step further like it did with the 9/11 Michael Jackson film.

It’s not okay to get white people to play black people. Even if it’s Joseph Fiennes and the black person had a skin condition which made their skin lighter. It’s not okay to look at the colour of a real, human being’s skin, and just pick the most palatable shade and then colour them in a bit. These actors may be no Rachel Dolezal, but they’re not a substitution for someone’s identity. Hollywood just can’t get it right. First, they cast a white person as a black person with light skin. Then they cast a lighter black person as a darker black person. Is it me, or is this symbolic of the obsession with whiteness?

The danger of ‘whiteness as success’

Let’s think about this. Why do ethnic minority people need to stick to their station, or change radically, in order to be successful, or even understood? Here are a few examples:

Zoe Saldana – played Gamora (Guardians of the Galaxy, green woman) and Neytiri (Avatar, blue woman). Saldana’s problem is they never seem to paint her right.

She has had some great roles, sure. However, that does not reduce the fact that directors and producers think it’s okay to make her more appetising, a sexy alien, by adding a dash of something else. Oh, and let’s make sure that her characters always need rescuing by some white man who’s doing her a favour and making her less primitive somehow. Because that’s not how colonialism worked at all.


Chris Rock – successful comedian, with hits like Everybody Hates Chris, and presenter at the recent Oscars. Oh Chris, what are we going to do with all the ribs you cracked at #OscarsSoWhite this year? I mean, the uncomfortable looks on people’s faces, when they were unsure whether to laugh or not, certainly made for reassuring(?) evidence that Hollywood really doesn’t know what to do with actors of colour. This account from the Oscars website just says it all. No doubt, Rock isn’t perfect. But he did this right. When you have an audience full of people who apparently want diversity, but people of colour aren’t involved in the conversation, how are you going to expect them to be able to lead the way in their own liberation? Give the people a break; we’ve had to deal with enough whitesplaining as it is.

Just about every Pakistani or Muslim actor of colour- I’m really struggling, actually. I’m trying to think of a Pakistani or Muslim actor who hasn’t played a terrorist in films or TV shows I’ve watched. My Netflix and Amazon Prime accounts will tell you I consume a lot of film and TV, yet I’m struggling to think of inspiring roles that Pakistani actors have had.

GQ: 7 Muslim Actors On America’s Terrorist Typecasting
Is this a coincidence? I think not. Just look at the fact that anyone vaguely brown gets chosen to be a terrorist or linked to terrorism somehow. Or that shows like Homeland like to focus on how brown people and Arabs are always the problem. Or that the media gets scared when brown people go viral, regardless of whether they are Muslim. Oh, and it’s funny how the parents of brown people in films always seem to have a South Asian accent or something. Why does the assumption exist that ‘immigrants’ can’t have accents local to the place they now call home?

Facebook star, Showry – Now this is someone I can get behind. Showry’s videos are essentially a big middle finger up at the white concept of Koreans-must-be-cute-and-well-behaved. It’s a racist, sexist, and frankly damaging convention which Showry works to tackle. The ‘mukbang’ trend of eating for audiences inspired her to put a feminist spin on the matter, and challenge the stereotype of the hypersexualised Asian female. If only Korean actresses didn’t get cast in really cutesy roles, right? (Though it’s hard to think of many non-men Korean actors…). Margaret Cho broke with the image of cute Korean in The Interview and still ended up stuck with a stereotype, but at least they picked a Korean actress for that film. But the attitude of “it could have been worse” simply won’t cut it; not now, not ever.

So it’s kind of obvious from my short foray into problematic film stereotypes that some kind of effect must be filtering down to us Z-listers. But that’s a whole new kettle of fish. For now, we have to fight the notion that actors of colour must simply take what the white people give them and accept it’s for their own good. We must actively challenge the idea that actors of colour have to stay in their lane and play to stereotypes. We must ensure that people aren’t picked to play people of colour because their lighter skin is more appealing, or because there’s a “shortage” of darker actors with the same, if not better talent.

White must never be the new black, brown, or anything else in between. Hollywood has a long way to go before the rest of the world can have a chance of correcting its social conventions.


Anything but me

My eyes glaze over, wind chiming,

Feet stepping over my oblivion,

My soul-eating glare binges on their perfection.

Don’t be me. Let me be you.

For a day, to have the folds sweep me off my path,

Or the languishing sighs of reflections steal my breath,

Or my body melting away with the worries-

I’d give you everything.

In fact, take it from me-

I do not need myself.

I need to hold your image in my mind,

See the better parts of you,

And tape them to my skin.

I need to sew your smile to my face,

That Spring to my feet,

And that veil to my brain.

I long to be able to walk without you,

The crutches of my heart collapsing with my splintered spine,

Because I can’t live with myself if you’re living with me too.

There is a simple solution.

Let me be you.

Let me be anything but me.

Image problems start at birth

Flickr:Mariyan Dimitrov, Creative Commons

Going to keep this relatively short. Who knows what gender a child might be, but for the purposes of what is to be discussed, I’ll refer to the child with she/her/hers.

Several things struck me about her. She looked so calm as she rested, occasionally smiling or stretching in her sleep. I felt so lucky to see a life in someone’s arms. But I couldn’t shake a little bit of sadness that tugged at the bottom of my throat.

This child is going to grow up with so much pressure on her shoulders to conform to an image, even if it wasn’t her own. Take, for instance, the obsession with the weight of the baby. Sure, for health reasons, medical professionals like to check the baby is a “healthy” weight. Yet everyone asks about the weight of the baby, sighing and tutting. I can’t help shake the feeling that this is just the beginning of an image-obsessed life.

Another absurd example is people poke a baby’s nose. Literally, they try to stretch it, making it longer and thinner. As a baby born with facial palsy, I knew there would have been several attempts to make the paralysis on my left side go away. But the nose? What is wrong with a baby’s nose?

This poor kid. She probably doesn’t know it yet, but she’s in for a tough ride. When babies are born in the Pakistani community, the immediate instinct of older relatives is to either frown or smile over the baby’s skin colour. Pale = yay. Dark = nay. In fact, people spend their entire life cracking jokes about how one child was born darker and therefore uglier than the rest.

Already, people are probably wondering how hairy the baby is going to be. Seriously. It seems you have to be perfect without actually doing anything about it. It’s not just about the appearance, though.

When your newborn baby is reliant upon you for everything, you’re stressed out of your mind. You don’t have the energy to argue, especially with silver-tongued grannies and granddads who won’t listen to anything you have to say on the matter. I don’t know what it’s like in other communities, but in my Pakistani community, we have a huge hurdle to overcome in terms of encouraging self-esteem and discouraging bullying. Parents should not give their children a complex about how they look. It’s ridiculous to think that degrading someone’s appearance in order to “make them better” comes under the subject of “tough love”. No; it creates sad people who lead sad lives trying to live up to your ever-changing, unrealistic expectations. Is it any wonder mental health issues are so rife within the community?

It’s hard enough getting communities to loosen up on their gender expectations. Girls must be quiet, pretty, and obedient. Boys must be strong, faithful, and spirited. Forget the non-binary, forget those who don’t care about the gender stereotypes, and definitely forget the people who don’t prescribe to religious doctrine. Unfortunately, the children will grow up having an image foisted upon them, often with violence and emotional abuse.

I notice that a lot of these image problems are projected onto children by adults who have the same image problems and have grown up thinking that way. Something about self-improvement makes people say all sorts of horrible things. It shouldn’t be that we live to a ripe old age regretting we didn’t elongate our child’s nose enough. But I’ll say this with certainty: your child is not an image of yourself or anyone else. Let them be a child, and teach them to be strong enough to withhold all the stupid ideas of image people will press upon them their entire lives.

Teach them to be their own person; that’s all they will ever ask or need from you.